


Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by Legal_Party



Series: Catching The Rainbow [1]
Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Bipolar Disorder, Dysphoria, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Non-Binary Lake, Other, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, it's all i know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legal_Party/pseuds/Legal_Party
Summary: Lake is free at last.But now what?She didn't have a place to call home.She didn't even know if anyone would accept her.And she didn't care.
Relationships: Jesse Cosay/Lake
Series: Catching The Rainbow [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684039
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

_Now what?_

Lake sat in the grass, asking herself that question repeatedly. Jesse asked her to wait in the backyard well he explained everything to his parents. Made sense; if your son disappeared for several weeks, only to suddenly reappear alongside a mirror girl and says he was kidnapped by a train from another dimension; you would have a ton of questions. 

_Now what?_

It came to her head again. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to think that he was right. 

_Where would I live?_

She stood up, looking for something to take it off her mind. 

_Is there a school that would accept me?_

She picked up a stick and started swinging it about, pretending she was the batter for a baseball team.

_Could I even get a job?_

With one hand, they tossed a rock into the air. As the rock started to fall, Lake readied their bat. She resisted the urge to grit her teeth. 

_Will anyone see me as human?_

**Crack!**

The rock was sent flying, at the cost of a her stick. A revelation came to her.

_Will they see me as a person?_

Tears began to run down her face. Did she really escape the train? Or did she just travel to the world of the Apex? Will she be killed for not being human?

_What if his parents hate me?_

She fell to her knee, but was unable to feel the sharp rock beneath her. 

“No-no-no!” She cried out, unable to feel any pain, nor the cold soil below. Nobody would see her as human. Everyone would hate her.

Running away and living on her own was always an option. Before she met Jesse, she was on her own for a while. Being on her own for the rest of her life wouldn’t be so bad, right?

_Right?_

“Jesse says you can come in now.”

It was Nate. He was calling from the backyard door, looking a little worried about her. Lake walked over, her metallic blood going cold at the thought of meeting his parents. 

Jesse was sitting on the small couch in the living room. His parents, Stephan and Whittney Cosay, were sitting on the main sofa. As soon as Lake stepped in, Jesse sat up and moved to her side. Both his parents had mildly shocked expressions.

“Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet Lake,” He said with a smile. “We helped each other out when we were on the train.” Jesse silently suggested that Lake hold her hand out. 

Whittney shook her hand first. “Thank you so much, for helping our boy out.” 

“Wait...” Lake stepped back. “You believe him?”

“He can’t tell a lie to save his life,” Stephan chimed in, standing up to meet her. “Plus, you’re kinda proof that he’s telling the truth.” He shook her hand. “Hope you don’t mind us asking, but what’s your story?”

_Oh crap._

“Jesse, you didn’t tell them about me?”

He shook his head. “It would be better if you told them.” Lake sat on the small couch, as Jesse walked out. “I’ll let you handle it.” His parents took a seat as well. 

_Where to start?_

“Um… Hi, uh,” She stuttered, trying to think of something to stay. “I was the reflection of this girl, Tulip, who was also on the Train. I didn’t want to live being controlled by someone else, so I escaped my prime and went on the run for awhile. Until I met Jesse.” 

“On the run?”

_Oh no._

“Who were you running from?”

“Well… If a reflection refuses to play ball, they send out mirror cops to…” Lake bit her tongue, her breath growing heavy. She could still feel his blood. “Kill them. So they tried to kill me-'' _Avoid talking about them, or what I did to him._ “-but I escaped. And now I’m here.”

“I’m so sorry,” Whittney said. “No one should have gone through that, let alone a girl your age.”

_Girl._

Lake hated that word. Made her sound like her prime. It reminded her of what he said. 

“You’re very understanding,” Lake complimented, but still curious about how they were acting. “Why do you believe me?”

“Your friends with Jesse, right?” Stephan asked. “If he trusts you to talk with us, we can trust you.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Lake commented, thinking about how Jesse came back for her. 

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

_No._

“Well… I never thought about the specifics,” She explained. “I only cared about escaping the Train.” She tangled her fingers. “I’m still homeless.”

“If you want, you can stay here.”

_What? What did she say?_

“There’s an empty bunk in Jesse’s room,” Whittney explained. “You can stay as long as you like.”

“Thank you so much, but...” Lake stood up. “Why are you so nice to me?”

They were both visibly concerned by her question. Stephan stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

* * *

_Now what?_

Lake stared at the ceiling above her. She had accepted their offer, cause she had nowhere to go and no need to run. Nate and Jesse were both excited to have her, even if she had to share a room with Jesse. Kinda funny how they bought two beds, but didn’t even realize one of them was a bunk bed. Jesse even had tons of unused clothes that she could borrow.

Despite having this freedom, something still didn’t feel right. It was like her own body couldn’t accept this.

_Maybe I just need some water._

She carefully climbed down, trying to avoid waking her bunk-mate, and walked to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and opened the medicine cabinet. Luckily, there were one or two paper cups she could use. Upon closing the cabinet, she glanced up at herself in the mirror. Out of instinct, she jumped back and crashed into the wall behind her. She slipped and fell onto her ass, before fruitlessly trying to crawl backwards. She swore she could still hear him. 

_You’ll never be free, sliver girl._

“N-No!”

_Your just her reflection._

“No...” She weakly cried, wrapping her arms around herself. 

_You’ll never be a human like her._

She clenched her fists, feeling her blood grow hot. “No, I’m not her.” After standing back up, she tore her shirt off, followed by her bra. “I’m...” Her body underneath still looked just like her. “I’m...” She reared back and slammed her fist into the mirror, shattering it into shards. She felt her legs give out, as her whole body was shaking. All she could do now was cry.

“Hello?” Jesse asked from the other side of the door, probably woken by her breakdown. “Lake? Are you going to be alright?” Lake couldn’t bring herself to say anything back. “I just hope you haven’t hurt yourself.”

“Hey Jesse?” Lake asked back, finally able to speak past her tears. “Can I stop being a girl, for like, the rest of my freaking life?”

“I mean...” Jesse paused for a second before continuing. “Is this about Tulip?”

_Damn, this is the smartest he’s ever been._

“Yeah,” Lake admitted, well staring at the palm of her hand. “Hearing everyone call me a girl just reminds me of her. I don’t want to be her anymore.”

“Well… You don’t have to be a girl then.” Jesse said.

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t see why not, it’s not like anyone around here knows who Tulip is.”

“Fantastic,” Lake said. “Can you go back to sleep? I don’t have a shirt on.”

They could almost hear his blushing, before he walked back to his room. 

_They._

That word sounded so much better to them. They felt much better about this freedom, now that they cut everything that connected them to Tulip's feet.


	2. I Fought The Law

_ Now what? _

Lake sat by the edge of the lake, as they waited for Jesse and Nate. Jesse said he wanted to introduce them to a friend of his. 

_ Now what? _

They were really feeling the anxiety of freedom now. They wanted to try school, but they figured a school wouldn’t accept a chrome kid. But for right now, all they wanted to do was celebrate.

“Hey, Lake!” Jesse called out. Lake turned and saw Jesse walking over, with a tan-skinned boy in a black hoodie walking next to him. He was staring down at his phone as he walked, not really paying attention to his surroundings. Lake stood up, stretched their legs, and ran over.

The boy looked up from his phone, before staring curious at them for a few seconds. They extended a hand. “Hi, I’m Lake.”

Their words snapped him out of his brief trance. “Dios mios... I mean—um—Alan.” He nervously said, reaching his hand out to shake. “It’s Alan.”

Before they shook hands, Lake delivered a quick flick to Jesse’s forehead with their other hand. Alan shivered slightly, clearly not expecting to actually touch their cool metal. 

“Jesse, where have you been?” Alan asked, turning to face him. 

“That’s a long story,” Jesse said. “I can tell it in song, if you want.”

“No,” Alan and Lake said in unison.

“Okay fine,” He said, as he took a seat in the grass. The other two followed suit. 

Jesse started by describing the Train, all the different cars he saw, and even how he and Lake escaped. Once again, he refrained from mentioning Lake’s side of the story. 

_ Guess it’s better if I explain that part. _

“So let me get this straight, hermando,” Alan said, before taking in a huge breath. “You were kidnapped by a train from another dimension piloted by a tiny ball that forced you to confront your problems and you traveled alongside a magic deer and a metal man?!” He rapidly recapped. “I’d call you crazy but...” He turned towards Lake.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” They said. “It’s not everyday you see someone like me.”

“What’s your deal, anyway? Are you some kind of robot or mutant?”

Lake tried to avoid being offended for being called a robot, at least they could avoid looking offended. “No, I was actually someone’s reflection-a girl named Tulip-who helped free me.”

Alan turned to look at the lake for second, then back to Lake. “Wait, so is my reflection alive?”

“Yep!” Jesse interjected. “Don’t think about it to much, apparently the only way a reflection can be freed is on the Train.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to live someone else’s life, so I escaped from the mirror world,” They explained, before taking a moment to stare at their wrist. “But if a reflection refuses to play ball, they send flecs-mirror cops-out to kill them. So I was on the run for most of my time on the Train.”

Alan gripped his shoulder, avoiding their eye contact. “On the run? I know that feeling...”

“No you don’t,” They said, almost defensively. Alan kept his eyes down, turning them into dark pits. “You’ve never had to live in fear of anything reflective. You’ve never had people constantly trying to kill you on Earth. You’ve-”

“Lake, calm down,” Jesse asked, putting a hand on their shoulder. Alan stood up, with fire in his eyes. 

“My family has been on the run for my entire life!” He cried out, as Lake remained unflinching. “My parents were arrested and deported, and I’ll never see them again! Don’t tell me that you’ve had it rough, pendejo!”

He stormed off, tears dripping from his face. Jesse ran after him, leaving Lake by themselves. As Alan left him in his dust, Jesse turned around and ran back to Lake. He delivered a flick to their forehead, only to hurt his finger.

“Good job Lake, now we won’t be able to contact him,” Jesse scolded. 

“Whatever; you have a phone, you can...” Jesse stared back at them.

_ Oh, right. _

“Why are you acting like this?” He asked. “Bad things happen to people who aren’t metal sometimes.”

“I guess, but-” 

“Why are you even mad? You fought the law and won. He fought the law and lost,” Jesse said, before putting a hand on their shoulder again. “Please don’t do this to him. After you and Nate, he’s the only real friend I’ve got.”

Before Lake could say anything else, the two of them saw that Alan was running back to them. He stopped at their feet, catching his breath before looking up at them. 

“I forgot something,” He said. Jesse opened his mouth to ask, only to be silenced by a flick to the forehead. 

“Why’d you come back?” Lake asked, wanting an answer well at the same time, trying not to laugh at Jesse’s misery.

“If there's anyone we should be mad at, it’s Jesse,” He explained. “He’s the only one who hasn’t had the cops after him.”

“Huh… Well… No hard feelings then?” 

“Yeah, but around you, it’s always hard feelings.” Both Jesse and Lake stared at him.

“Please never say that again,” s a Lake requested.

“Fine, whatever,” Alan said. “Going to be honest though. I’m only sticking around because I want to know more about you.”

“Does that make us friends?”

“Eh, Why not.”

_ Man, this Alan is almost as weird as the other Alan.  _

Lake felt better knowing they didn’t blow it, and that they made a new friend. They didn’t even object when Alan snapped a picture of them for a selfie. Plus, it would be nice to deliver flicks of justice to a jock’s face.


	3. Complete Control

“You’re in a good mood.”

“Yes I am,” Jesse practically sang with delight. “I got a new phone!”

“Guess your parents don’t trust you to go anywhere on your own, huh?” Lake half-joked, giving Jesse a heavy pat on the shoulder. He recoiled, feeling their cold metal skin. He was so excited to get a new phone, that he didn’t even put a shirt on before getting out of bed. 

“I’ve been gone for a few weeks,” He said. “They probably think I’m going to get kidnapped by the Train again.”

“You think a few weeks is bad? I heard that Tulip spent six months onboard.” 

Jesse thought for a second. “What was Tulip like?” He asked, causing Lake to tense up a little.

They crossed their arms. “She’s a tech-nerd,” They listed off, snapping their fingers as they thought. “She’s nice, smart, and kind of gullible.”

“You know, I kinda want to meet her; maybe tell her that you got off the Train.”

“I know her number,” Lake said, without thinking first. “We can text her if you want.”

“Wait… How do you-” Lake gave him a mean look. “-oh, right.” He handed them the phone. “Here. Punch in her number, and we can send her a text.” He went to his dresser to grab a shirt, well Lake fumbled with the phone; accidentally typing her number backwards at first.

_I’m not nervous… I swear._

“What do you want to text her?”

Jesse pondered for a moment, leaning against Lake, who didn’t mind him doing so. “Maybe we can send a selfie?”

“Um… Yeah, sure whatever,” Lake confirmed. Jesse reached over and opened the camera. The two dorks posed for the picture; Jesse giving a simple smile, well Lake stuck their tongue out. After the photo shoot, they sent it to her with the message “I lived, onion breath” under it.

They waited for a minute, wondering why there was no reply. 

_Maybe she’s not awake yet?_

Suddenly, the phone began to buzz, with Tulip trying to call from the other end. “I’ll leave you to it,” Jesse said, as he went to the door. “Just try not to break it.” Reluctantly, they accepted the call and put the phone to their ear. 

“Holy crap!” Tulip yelled. “You got off the Train?!”

_This is extremely awkward._

“Well… Yeah?” They answered, still finding it a bit hard to believe. 

Tulip followed up by bombarding them with questions and comments. “You look awesome! How did you even get off?! Did the flecs hurt you?! Who’s your new friend?! Where are you?! Did you steal that phone?”

_The awkwardness just hit the ceiling._

“Slow down, one at a time,” Lake said back. “My-uh-friend there is Jesse. We met on the Train and helped each other escape.”

“How though? I thought you needed a number to leave.” Tulip said, though Lake swore they could heard him speaking as well.

“It was surprisingly simple, actually. I just reflected Jesse’s number and got my own door,” They explained.

“I guess that makes sense.”

Lake took a seat, since they would be talking for quite awhile. “I got out unscathed, those flecs won’t be after me anymore.”

“Can they not follow you if you’re off the Train?” Tulip asked.

“Haven’t attacked me yet,” They said, leaving out the fact that they murdered two of them. 

“Yeah, I guess that also makes sense,” She said back. “By the way, are you staying with Jesse?”

_Yeah, I guess I am._

“His parents are nice and he’s a lovable dummy, so their letting me stay for as long as I need,” Lake answered, before hanging their head down. “Which might be forever...” They said, holding the phone away. 

“Cool, it would be nice to see you again, in person. Maybe we cou-”

“No thanks,” They intruppted. “I would rather get myself figured out first.” They smiled for a moment. “And how are you doing without your reflection?” They jokingly asked.

“Just fine, though I do get a few weird looks every now and again,” Tulip paused for a moment. “Can I talk with you later? It’s kinda early and your text kinda woke me up.”

“Whenever you want, Dracula.”

When the call ended, Lake felt like curling up and dying. 

_Did I just flirt with my prime?! It sure did sound like it! I’m such an idiot!_

There was a knock at the door. It was Nate; there to inform Lake that there were pancakes. They rush downstairs, wanting anything to take their mind off it. Jesse was already sitting at the table, smiling at them as they took a seat next to him. 

_Yeah, I guess this is my home. And I would like to be free from Tulip for a bit long._


	4. T.N.T.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONE!!!

_ Sizzzz _

Lake felt their fuse light up. This was going to be an awkward shopping trip. Jesse asked them if they had wanted to go to the mall, and they said yes without even thinking it through first. Now they were having second thoughts. Didn’t help that the last time they were in a mall, some kids tried to kill them. 

It was just the two of them, walking around the mall. Except one of them was an ex-reflection made entirely out of metal. There shouldn’t be any problem; out here, you can’t be arrested from being too shiny. Jesse was still his happy self, almost radiating positive energy. Lake wasn’t so sure; others were staring and it was making them nervous. 

Before the two could step into a nearby clothing store, these two girls walked up to them. Both of their jaws were agape, unable to believe what was standing next to Jesse. 

“Is that makeup?” One asked, reaching out to touch their arm. Lake flinched and pulled their arm back.

“No, it’s not makeup,” Lake said, flicking their arm with an audible  _ clang _ . The girls nearly jumped back in shock. They reached their hand out for a shake. “I’m Lake, nice to meet you.”

Neither of them shook their hand. “Nice to meet you too, I guess.” One said, as the two stepped away; snapping a quick picture when Lake wasn’t looking. 

_ Sizzzzzzz _

_ That could have gone better.  _

Later, the two of them were enjoying lunch at the food court, when Lake heard a little boy talking to his mother. 

“I wanna go touch the robot!”

_ Robot? _

“Absolutely not, it could be dangerous!”

_ It?! _

_ Sizzzzzzzzzzzz _

Even later, Alan caught up to them when they were outside the mall. He was panting like a dog, clearly unprepared to be running this much.

“Hey, guess what,” He asked, not waiting for an answer. “I reached out and met someone who was on the Train.”

“Really?!” Jesse said, clearly excited. Lake was less excited, more mildly curious. “How’d you do that?”

“Sorry, but I can’t tell you,” He said, as he pulled the two in, making them bump shoulder-to-shoulder.

_ Sizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz _

“Just kidding,” Alan said, stepping behind the two. “Turns out, this girl in a town a mile over blogged about it. Even took a few pictures.” He pointed a finger at Lake. “You were even in one, pandejo.”

_ Wait…  _ **_What?!_ **

Before they could ask any questions, Alan let out a quick little whistle. A girl with curly hair and a brown jack walked over. She looked super nervous, especially because she had seen Lake before; cause she had a very familiar pattern across her face.

“Lake, meet Clair.”

**_BOOM_ **

“Lake, calm down!” Jesse said, trying to hold them back. 

“You guys tried to kill me!” They yelled out, trying to walk over and punch her; prevented by the combined efforts of Jesse and Alan.

“It’s just me,” She said, trying to calm them down. “I left the Apex after Jesse was sent home.” She gripped her arm. “Seeing his door reminded me that I should try and get home.”

Lake was engulfed with rage, not listening to her. “That doesn’t matter! Your gang tried to kill me! You tried to keep Jesse on the Train!”

Suddenly, Jesse stepped back and stormed off; Lake stumbled over, now that he wasn’t holding them back. They chased after him, confused by his change of attitude. 

“Why are you so upset?” Jesse asked, turning around to face them. “You’ve been so antagonistic. She got off the Train, so she clearly changed. What’s going on?”

Lake stopped in their tracks, feeling a lump form in their throat. They didn’t know what to say now. Instead, they would tell him how they felt. “I- I don’t like this-” They choked on their words, pausing for a moment. “I’m on edge, okay!” Tears started to slide down their smooth skin. “It doesn’t feel right! It still feels like someones out to get me! It doesn't feel safe here! I’ve spent my entire life being chased. I… I don’t...” They put their head down, feeling a great weight on their soul.

The weight was suddenly lifted by a gentle hand wiping their tears. Jesse looked them directly in the eyes. “You’re safe now. I understand that this is all so unnerving. How do you think I feel after being on that train for weeks? But we got out together, and I’ll be there if you need me.”

They sniffed, taking a seat on the curb. “Yeah, we are travel friends, after all.” They jokingly said, giving him a light punch to the shoulder as he sat down. 

“I knew you liked the name,” The two took a moment to laugh. “I know it’s probably not a good time, but...”

“But what? Just spit it out.”

“Do you want to call this date off and go home?” He asked.

_ Wait date? _

Lake blushed for a moment. “Was this a date? Why would I date a jock like you?”

It was Jesse’s turn to blush. “No, not that kind of date...”

“Then what kind of date is it?”

Jesse scratched the back of his head. “Um… I don’t know… Wait, did I say date?” He was so red, he could be seen from space. 

Lake felt a surge of confidence. “Okay, whatever.” In that instant, they pulled Jesse by the shirt and gave him a quick kiss. He fell backwards, almost a motionless stone statue. “Now it’s that kind of date.”

“Oh- um- alright,” Jesse squeaked out, sitting back up. There were no words that he could spit out after. 

“What? You’ve never practiced kissing before?” They teased some more, giving him a bump with their elbow. “Anyways, I would like to go home. I want to lay face down on my bed.”

“Let’s do that then, yes.” 

And with that, the two walked home. Neither said a word about Lake’s sudden outburst or make-out; it was probably best for them to call it a day and move on. Maybe they’ll be ready to talk with Clair one day, but not when their fuse was lit.


End file.
